


As Time Goes By

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, M/M, Wow angst, but it ends happy i promise, lance is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-15 11:08:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8053969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: written for shatt week on tumblr day 1: departings/reunions





	As Time Goes By

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing voltron fic just sayin'

            “I’ve got ‘em!” Pidge exclaims, barreling into the control room at full speed, laptop in hand.

            “Got what, Pidge?” Shiro asks warmly, eager for a distraction from Keith and Lance’s argument of who was more awesome in training that day.

            “Yeah Pidge,” Lance chimes in. “Did you find Keith’s sense of humor yet?”

            “Oh screw you, Lance.” Keith scowls and Shiro wonders if he’s going to have to break them up again when Pidge explodes in a flurry of impatience and excitement.

            “I finished going through all that data we got from that jacked Galra ship and I got coordinates! I know where my dad and brother are!” Pidge bounces up and down excitedly, only a little bit smug at the shocked expressions on everyone’s faces.

            “You know where Matt is?” Shiro’s heart stutters a little as he asks the question, and hopes it isn’t as obvious to anyone else how anxious he is. Of course he wants to see Matt again. To ruffle his hair and see that glimmer of wonder in his warm hazel eyes. But things are different, aren’t they? Shiro feels a stabbing in his temples as images of dark cells and gladiator battles flit across his consciousness. Whispered promises, held hands, they pass by like faded images in a dusty slide projector. What if Matt didn’t remember him? What if…. There was something Shiro was missing. A series of blanks in his memories that he was almost certain Matt could fill. But what if Matt couldn’t?

 

            And worse.

 

            What if he didn’t want to?

 

            The phantom feeling of a stolen kiss to his cheek in the cover of darkness makes Shiro shiver, and brings him back to the present, in which a very concerned looking Keith has a hand on his shoulder.

            “Shiro? You okay?” Keith shakes Shiro gently. “Pidge started talking about possible wormhole jumps and you kinda just…” Keith makes a noncommittal gesture with his hand.

            “I’m fine.” Shiro nods stiffly, the tight line in his jaw not fooling Keith even remotely.

            “Why don’t you go hit the training deck?” Keith whispers. “Take your mind off things for a bit. I’ll make sure everything’s ready for the rescue mission.” Shiro’s mind conjures up an image of Lance adamantly refusing to do anything Keith says as Keith attempts to mother-hen the group and he can’t help but chuckle.

            “I think I’ll do that, then.” Shiro murmurs. No one really questions as he makes his way towards the control room door for which he is incredibly grateful. “Don’t stay up too late guys!” Shiro calls over his shoulder as an after thought. “Big day tomorrow.”

Those words echo in the cavern of his skull as Shiro turns down the hallway to the training deck. There’s a memory connected to them. Shiro’s figured out by now that the occasional dull fuzz in his mind is usually a trapped memory trying to resurface, an after affect of whatever the hell Haggar did to him. Shiro doesn’t force the memory to come to light, another thing he’s learned doesn’t work, but as it turns out he doesn’t need to. As soon as his hand touches the cool metal of the deck, he’s plunged straight back into the past, the protective walls of the castle suddenly galaxies and galaxies away.

 

“Don’t stay up too late, boys!” Commander Holt says, clapping both Shiro and Matt forcibly on the shoulder. “Big day tomorrow! Departure to Kerberos is in t minus ten point five hours, so don’t be late!” The elder Holt smiles as he leaves the office, letting Matt and Shiro do some last minute organizing of files.

“It’s still hard to believe we’re actually leaving tomorrow.” Shiro remarks as he rolls up a set of blueprints. “I mean the first manned mission to Kerberos! I don’t know how they chose me to pilot this thing.”

“Probably because you were the hottest.” Matt says over a pile of calculations.

“What?” Shiro asks, choking on air.

“Best. BEST. I mean best.” Matt’s cheeks are flaming and in that moment Shiro realizes that he has no idea how he’s going to deal with spending months aboard a tiny spaceship with this beautiful boy, with only the stars to bear witness his struggle. A cough from Matt brings Shiro out of his reverie. “I am gonna miss Katie a lot though.” Shiro gives Matt a commiserating look, knowing how fond Matt is of his little sister. “You have no idea how much she wanted to come on this mission with us.”

“Well from what you’ve told me,” Shiro says, organizing the last of his papers into a neat stack, “she’s probably more than capable.” Matt snorts.

“True. But she’d be driving me crazy in minutes.” Matt laughs again, but Shiro can see the sadness in the slight curl of Matt’s lower lip.

“Well if you get lonely in space, you’ve always got me.” For a second Shiro considers reaching across the table and grabbing Matt’s hand. But as soon as Matt looks up at him, the warmest expression on Matt’s face, Shiro loses any sense of nerve he may have once had. “I mean of course you’ll have your dad too but I was just thinking, actually just saying tha—”

“Shiro.” Matt smiles as the rambling comes to halt. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Shiro tires to ignore the blooming warmth in his chest as Matt puts away the rest of his stuff.

“Walk me to my room?”

“You got it.” It’s not like Shiro really needs to be asked. And as much as he doesn’t want to jeopardize the mission with his feelings, he allows himself the small luxury of draping his arm around Matt’s shoulders, hoping and praying that the heat in his cheeks in his hidden by the dim, after hours lighting of the Garrison.

“Shiro!”

“Matt, what’s up?” Shiro blinks in confusion as he realizes that Matt isn’t speaking, and that the voice is coming from somewhere behind him.

“Shiro! Shiro wake up!” Shiro takes a shuddering breath and finds himself lying on the floor of the training deck with Pidge standing over him, the glow of Matt’s touch a distant fantasy.

           

             Shiro lays on the floor for a moment still trying to process what had just happened.

            “Shiro? Shiro seriously should I get someone? Coran? Allura!” Pidge is relieved to see Shiro shaking his head vigorously. He sits up, all too wary of Pidge’s gaze on him.

            “It’s nothing, Pidge.” Shiro attempts to channel the confidence he always tries to demonstrate around the paladins. “Just another memory coming back.” Pidge nods, but moves to sit next to Shiro.

            “You’re worried about the mission tomorrow.” It’s a statement, not a question, and Pidge notices Shiro visibly flinch from the words. “I mean I’m worried too.” Pidge clenches her eyes shut for a second, trying her best not to tear up. “Because I mean I’ll get to finally have my dad and brother back, but they’ve probably changed in the Galra prison and like what if, and what if they don’t remember me because like your memory was all over the place when we first found you. It was kinda scary.” Pidge winces as soon as the words enter the air. “Sorry, Shiro.”

            “It’s okay.” Shiro puts a tentative hand on Pidge’s shoulder, then lets out a deep sigh. “I just hope Matt’s—I mean they’re okay.” Pidge now gives Shiro a slightly suspicious look. “I feel guilty about leaving them behind when I escaped, you know?” Shiro covers, realizing that’s the second time he’s accidentally fixated on Matt.

            “Shiro, can I ask you something?”

            “What is it, Pidge?” Shiro’s voice cracks on the last syllable of Pidge’s name and now it’s increasingly obvious to the younger paladin that Shiro is just barely holding it together.

            “Why did you really save my brother from the gladiator ring?” Pidge feels Shiro’s hand tremble and looks over, shocked to see tears streaming down Shiro’s face. Pidge’s brain races to connect the dots and then—oh. Just. Oh. “Shiro?” Shiro’s only response is sniffling, followed by him clearing his throat. Pidge hesitates for a moment, then engulfs Shiro in a hug. “We’ll get him back.” She whispers. “Okay, we both will.” Pidge’s eyes scrunch in another attempt to block the flow of tears. “I promise.” The paladins stay like that for a while, just listening to each other’s breathing and the thundering of their own hearts. But later, even as he goes to bed, Shiro swears he can hear the phantom of Matt’s laughter, haunting him as his pulls up his covers.

…

 

            “Shiro, hurry up!” Lance’s voice is shrill in his ear as Shiro prowls around the Galra ship, and he has half a mind to silence communications as he and Pidge duck behind a column, narrowly avoiding a guard patrol. “Shiro? As fun as guarding your lion _and_ Pidge’s is, we’re gonna need you to get back out soon.”

            “Shiro! We’re taking heavy fire out here, but it’s fine, we’re managing.” Coran’s passive aggressiveness cuts across the line, and it takes Shiro a second to recalibrate his senses.  
            “Pidge, how close are we to the holding block?”

            “We should be there once we get around that corner,” Pidge points at a glowing hallway, not even looking up from some holographic schematics. “Then we’ll have get through the doo—” Pidge’s words are cut off as Shiro forcibly ushers Pidge towards the correct corridor. Pidge wants to protest, but terror takes over as the clanking of the boots of sentries grows louder and louder, then suddenly quieter as the squadron completes their round. “That was close.” Shiro isn’t even listening, already pushing at a large metal door. For the first time on this mission Pidge feels like laughing, and calmly moves Shiro to the side with an outstretched arm.

            “Shiro. Let the professional handle this.” While Pidge is frustrated and saddened by the absence of rover, the Galra door proves to not be much of challenge, hissing and sliding away in a matter of seconds. Pidge grins, looking to Shiro for a nod of approval. But Shiro is miles away, staring intently at the rectangle of light now permeating the holding block, searching desperately for a mop of brown hair. But there is only darkness.

            “Matt?” Shiro’s voice is hoarse, with barely any energy behind it. “Matt! Commander Holt?” Pidge sees Shiro’s shoulders slump and wave of worry passes over the duo.

            “Matt? Dad?” Pidge feels time stop for a moment before hearing a murmured, barely audible

            “Katie?” As a weary looking Commander Holt emerges into the light Pidge rushes forward, melting into her father’s (now much frailer) arms.

            “Dad it’s okay.” Pidge whispers. “I’m here, I’m here. We’re fine.” Pidge chokes back a sob. “We’re fine.” The commander squeezes his daughter tightly before gazing up at Shiro.

            “Thank you, Shiro.” The elder Holt whispers. “Thank you for keeping my daughter safe.” Shiro knows he’s probably being rude but at this point the suspense is killing him, and he just needs to know.

            “Sir? Where’s Matt?” Shiro’s heart leaps to his throat as a cloud passes over the man’s eyes.

            “Matt was wounded badly in an accident at our previous mining colony. That’s why we were getting transferred.” He looks sadly at Pidge. “Even if we did try to escape, I don’t know if he could walk.”

            “Where is he?” Shiro’s voice has a disturbing note of anger in it that causes even Pidge to take a step back. The commander points weekly at the darkness of the holding block.

            “He’s lying down on the floor of the cell bu—” He doesn’t even finish his sentence before Shiro shoves him aside, plunging into the Galra cell. He extends his prosthetic hand so that it glows, and attempts to use it as a light source. Inadvertently, he touches an arm. An arm?

            “Matt?” Shiro kneels next to the figure, his stomach clenching as he notices a number of bloody bandages, including a head wrap. “Matt, it’s me.”

            “Dad I told you I didn’t want any food.” Matt mumbles, rolling over to face his what he assumes to be his father. “ I just want to re—” His words die in his throat, as his eyes meet Shiro’s. Like a man in a daze, Matt reaches up slowly to touch Shiro’s cheek gently, as if the other man might shatter beneath his touch. “I’m dreaming.” Matt breathes as his fingers ghost across Shiro’s face. “I must be.”

            “You’re not, Matt.” Shiro is crying as he actually has the nerve to grab Matt’s hand this time. “I’m here. I’m hereI’mhereI’mhere and we’re gonna get you out. Okay?” Matt lets out a noise that might have once been a laugh and Shiro can’t help but smile weakly. “I got you.”

            “I can’t I…” Matt pauses to gaze at Shiro’s face silently. “My leg is…” Shiro squeezes Matt’s hand in a gesture of comfort.

            “Don’t worry about it.” Shiro releases Matt’s hand before hooking both his arms beneath Matt to lift the other man up, bridal style. “I’m here.” Matt nods slowly, never taking his eyes off Shiro’s face.

            “You’re here.” Matt’s face quirks into the barest hint of a smile. “When did you change your hair?”

            “Hey guys,” Pidge calls from outside the doorway. “I hate to break up the reunion, but Allura’s saying the castle defenses are almost toast again. We gotta get back to the lions, stat.” Shiro sighs in frustration.

            “Is that goddamn castle ever working?” He readjusts his arms around Matt slightly, before making his way out of the cell. “Pidge, do you think you can get your father into your lion okay?” Pidge nods, moving to drape one of her father’s arms around her shoulders.

            “I’ll take the route around the back of the ship to avoid more of the guards.” Pidge then whispers something to her father. Shiro doesn’t hear what is said, but it brings a genuine smile to the man’s face so he doesn’t question. “Just take care of Matt, please.” Pidge already knows Matt is in good hands, but all the same she feels better seeing Shiro’s stern nod. “Let’s get moving,” she murmurs to her dad as Shiro carries Matt in the opposite direction. “We’re not home safe yet.”

            “Are you guys back in your lions yet?” Lance yells into the com link. “Keith just took a really bad hit and we can’t cover you for much longer.”

            “I’m fine, Lance.” Keith’s voice is tense, which only worries the blue paladin further.

            “Just hurry up, Shiro!” Lance’s fussing almost makes Shiro want to take a second longer to get into his lion’s cockpit, but that thought flies out the window as he notices how much worse Matt’s injuries look in the purple Galran lights.

            “I’m flying out now, Lance.” Shiro says as he gets in the pilot seat, attempting to balance Matt in his arms while also manning the controls. Shiro speeds towards the other paladins, trying to assess the damage. Keith is definitely worse off than he was letting on, his lion struggling to lift off of the Galra ship while Lance is firing at any fighter that dares go near the red paladin. “Allura, how soon can we make a wormhole jump?”

            “As soon as Pidge is out we can be off.”

            “I’m here!” Pidge’s voice is loud and clear and Shiro feels a huge weight come off his shoulders. “Jump away, Allura.” So much is happening that Shiro barely registers the giant blue portal forming, almost on autopilot as he accelerates with the group. He can feel another moment of fuzziness taking over his brain and for a moment all he can think is _‘oh god, not now, please not now’_. But then Matt burrows into Shiro’s chest and suddenly Shiro remembers exactly where he is. Pink tinges his cheeks, and as he steers his lion into its bay, Shiro realizes that despite their entire universe being turned on its head, some things haven’t changed at all.

 

…

 

            “Allura, how much longer does he have to be in there?” Shiro asks for what feels like the fifth time that minute as he stares at Matt’s peaceful face in the healing pod. Allura clenches her fists, realizing that sometimes, when he wants to be, Shiro can be almost as irritating as Lance.

            “I told you already.” The princess says through gritted teeth. “A hundred more ticks.”

            “And how many ticks ago was that?” Shiro is so focused on the pod in front of him he doesn’t even notice Allura almost rip out a chunk of her hair in frustration.

            “About sixty.” She straightens her dress in an attempt to calm herself. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some very important duties to attend to.” Allura moves out of the infirmary so quickly that she almost bowls over an incoming Pidge, who gives the princess a questioning look as she exits.

            “What’s her deal?” Pidge asks.

            “I dunno.”Shiro says, still not taking his eyes off Matt.

            “The others will probably be coming in a minute.” Pidge bounces her leg up and down. “They wanna see Matt, as well.”

            “Mmm.” Shiro’s lack of movement is scaring Pidge slightly at this point, and she attempts to break the pseudo silence.

            “You’d almost think Matt was your brother.” Pidge laughs nervously as Shiro turns his head to give Pidge a withering look. And of course that is the exact moment that the pod decides to deactivate, sending a disoriented Matt straight into Shiro’s arms.

            “Shiro?” Matt’s voice is raspy with disuse, and Shiro can feel his heart breaking and being put back together all at once.

            “It’s okay.” Shiro murmurs tenderly. “You’re in a safe place. We’ll get you something to eat and you can rest some more. Okay?”

            “Okay.” Matt grabs Shiro’s shoulder to steady himself and Shiro has to remind himself to ignore the spiral of warmth that comes from Matt’s touch. “My brain’s still slightly fried.” Shiro grimaces sympathetically.

            “That tends to happen after being locked up by aliens.” Shiro’s face lights up as Matt laughs, a genuine, golden laugh. “What do you remember, by the way?” Shiro hopes the anxiety in his voice isn’t obvious to either Matt or Pidge as he asks the question.

            “There’s something…” Matt’s voice trails off. “But it feels more like a dream then a memory.” Shiro breath hitches as Matt catches his gaze, and he suddenly realizes how close their faces are.

            “What is it?” Shiro asks, barely daring to speak.

            “Maybe I should just show you.” Matt says before leaning up to press a kiss to Shiro’s lips.

             Shiro is caught off guard, but quickly melts into the kiss, wrapping an arm around Matt’s waist to steady the both of them as he relishes in the feel of Matt’s lips. They’re more chapped than Shiro remembers, but still warm and persistent and Shiro feels himself being rebuilt through all the little touches. Their noses bumping together. Matt’s hand, which has moved from Shiro’s shoulder to the back of his neck. Their torsos just ever so slightly pressing against each other. The coolness of Matt’s cheek under Shiro’s other hand. Shiro wants to stay like that for longer. To make up for lost time. To relearn all the other little touches that were lost in sea of druid magic and starlight. But his hazy bliss is cut short by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Shiro turns around, arm still around Matt’s waist to see that Lance, Keith, and Hunk have entered the room, all of them staring at Shiro with varying expressions of amazement.

              “Well _that_ was one hell of a reunion.” Lance says, letting out a low whistle. Shiro knows he’ll get back at Lance somehow, whether it be on the training deck or a food goo fight. But for now Shiro doesn’t care about any of that. He turns his back on the paladins, pulling Matt in for another kiss, determined to get a head start on their future.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @polaroidpidge


End file.
